Success loves misery

As your coach, I’m supposed to encourage you to give it your all, so you can get it all.

But when Chris told me in our coaching session

“I’m just going to cruise and do the minimum at work.”

With a big smile on my face, I let out a loud

“Congratulations!!!!”

I know you may be thinking I’m nuts.

Why would I encourage my client to do less, and not more?

Thing is, Chris has always done more, way more.

That’s her problem.

She’s been awarded for being the top performer GLOBALLY. She gets promotions, raises, job offers.

But Chris is not happy. Or healthy. And her relationships suck.

All her “success” comes at the cost of her mental health dealing with toxic bosses, and her physical health and quality of life from the time and energy demands of her job.

She’s so wired up, she can’t sleep. And her doctor has been warning her.

What people will usually tell you is, it’s her bosses’ fault. Their unreasonable demands. Her bad luck.

Or it’s her admirable work ethic, sense of responsibility, her high standards.

If you’re looking for “improvement,” perhaps we can stop there.

But that’s not what my clients come to me for.

For lasting change, to transform, you gotta dig deeper to the core.

Over the last few months Chris and I worked to:

• Clarify her goals and priorities

• Influence & manage her bosses

• Position herself strategically for her new job

• Sidestep and defuse political landmines

But there was one big jump that I was waiting for Chris to make all along, the one at the core that would shift everything for her.

The one thing holding Chris back from her happy life was this one deep inner belief:

Chris’ self worth equals = Chris’ work achievements

Or in other words

FEAR

Chris' ego couldn’t let her perform at any level other than 1000% perfect and way beyond what’s necessary. She was completely unable to judge which tasks to prioritize for quality, quantity, perfection.

She couldn’t balance because in her subconscious mind, any compromise, anything less than absolute perfection, meant she was not good enough.

Chris sacrificed every part of her life outside of work to prove she is good enough.

Chris was her own abuser, not her bosses. They only served as the supporting actors in Chris’ play.

So when Chris said, without emotion, nonchalantly, “I’m just going to cruise and do the minimum at work.”

I so happy for Chris, my heart was jumping for joy.

Chris’ current work situation is highly political and she’s in the tricky situation where, anyone who does any ounce of extra work, anyone who sticks their neck out, will be strung up as the scapegoat.

This is especially challenging for Chris, who’s worked hard all her life to be the STAR at work (and succeeded).

I’ve had to pull her back several times from the cross-hairs.
I don’t need to do pull her back any more.

Because Chris Version 1.0 “I have to prove myself and SHINE at all costs, regardless of the circumstances.”
Is now Chris Version 2.0 “I will observe and choose wisely how to show up at work to get me to my goal.”

It’s one thing to be driven to achieve your goals.
It’s another to be driven by your fears, disguised as your goals.

Chris is free - and fearless.
True freedom is when you’ve freed your mind so you are able to choose based on reality and wisdom, not on fear.

Chris beamed back at me.

“No wonder I’ve been feeling happier, in spite of the stress of the job. I’ve been taking things in stride more, it doesn’t get to me as much. I’m just happier overall.”

To which I replied...

“This is your biggest, most important ROI for your investment in coaching.

Because being freed from this fear that has defined your life so far means you are now truly in charge and can change the course of your life.

It’s the intangible that no one would “get” your most valuable payout, but in reality, it’s the most important thing. Your new life begins today.”

(If we were in the same city, I’d probably take Chris out to celebrate)

What would your Version 2.0 look like?

- Natalie

𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝟮 𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗺𝗲:

1.⁠ ⁠𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗥𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽𝘀 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗽 𝗰𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺 : I’m working on our next Relationships That Work Program intake, tentatively scheduled for October launch. If you’re interested to transform your home and work relationships to transform your life, DM me.

2.⁠ ⁠𝟭:𝟭 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗖𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺: I work with a highly select group of senior leaders to help you get the clarity, strategy and take action to create the life you want. I’m opening up 2 spots in September, DM me if you’re interested.

👋🏻 Say hello and connect